10/14/2006
i dont know how to put this. i'm back from camp.. had such nice memories. made new frens, learnt lotsa stuff, had fun.. and. well, when i came back today.. someone really dear to me.. passed on. he's gone. forever. my cat. cheeta. cheeta's gone. when my momma told me.. i just sat there, curled up and cried. i dont know how long i sat there, but i think i musta been sitting there for at least 45 min cuz the tv was on and there were 3 or 4 advertisements. i remember thinking how sad i was. i was so. shocked. this lil ball of fur..gone. the one that brings me home. the one that follows me around. the one that waits outside the bathroom while i'm in it. the one that lies on my lap. the one that sleeps on thu guest couch. the one that sleeps on the chairs in the living room. the one who would run after me when i went to throw the rubbish, or get the mail. gone. forever. he was missing from thursday.. the day i went for camp. i hadnt seen him all day. i shoulda gone to look for him instead of thinkin i'm tired and everything, afterall, maybe he came in, but we didnt see him. i was too selfish. thinkin of myself instead of him. what if he needed me? was he afraid? was he scared? was he.. tired?

from what i was told, he died on thursday or friday. he was found under a bush near my house. blood from his mouth. no signs of scratches or bruises or anything. he.. just died. i dont know why he died, but.. man. i'm crying so much now. for the first time, i haven't smiled more than twice since 2.30 today. it's about 6.40 now. wow. record breaking. i also havent moved more than twice. i lay on my bed.. crying. i dont know. he changed my life. he made me love in a way i have never loved before. he loved me for who i am. he was there for me when i was down. but now? he was like my best fren. always there for me. (cept when he's out.) we shoulda kept him in the house. too bad he's curious and adventerous. i dont know what to think. i dont know what to say. it's just not the same without my dear, first, cute cat. he was the BEST.


this'll be dedicated to him. in lovin memory of cheeta: you're a king in my eyes. you cheered everyone up just by sitting on their laps, making their seat warm.. and meowing around. you could do so much.. just by being you. everybody adored you. you were so good natured.. even when my sister wrestled with you, you never once scratched or bit her. even when we bathed you, you were scared like shit.. and you even peed on the floor, but you never scratched/bit us. when i made you do the wildcat part of we're all in this together, you only ran away. you were so much of me. you were.. my everything. i'm gonna miss your fur on my clothes.. your meow early in the morning. your greeting when i come home.. your following us around.. everything. i'll miss you so much. all of us will. you'll forever remain in our hearts. remember, cheeta.. all of us cried so much for you. we love you so much. thank you for coming into our lives, letting us have such nice memories. you shall be my wallpaper. (infact, you've been my wallpaper a long time ago, but nvm.) for a long long long long long long long long long long long long long time. if we get another cat, it's just to replace the hole in my heart that you occupied. you were the best!! you ARE the biggest miracle in my life!!

we got you two years ago.. scared lil thing. you were born in may too. just like me. your birthdate was unknown.. so i took it that you were born on the same day as i was. naive? yes. so much.. they found you around a hawker centre. mistreated. abused. we took you in, you were so scared! you hid in the spare room. it took you like two weeks to get used to us. and how we fussed over you. no matter how tired we were, we always took time to sit with him for at least 5 min and talk to him, pat him.. you purred.. meowed...oh cheeta..


you will always remain a part of me. i cant believe you died when you were 2 plus. sighsighsigh. i cant stop thinking about you. what are we gonna do with the cat litter? your two huge big packets of cat food? huh? what are we gonna do with them?! cheetaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!


i dont care what you guys call me. crazy. just becoz your cat died, its not the end of the world. i mean, its just an animal. if you say that, you are not my fren. he's not just a cat. or an animal.. he's.. something. he's everything. if you have a pet, and your pet died, you'd be like me now. or maybe less emo. well. i'm VERY EMOTIONAL ohkays. i cry like crazy when i'm sad. urgh. this issue is super sensitive for me. like.. even looking at the spot he used to sleep makes me cry all over again. fuck. i'm so dam emo now. and on monday? another round of emo-ness. results. i'm going to NA. well. i have this feeling. so strong. bye one joyians. cya next year, in NA.

fish soup. thats how my day's been like. i was so dang fucked up happy at camp.. then now i'm cracked like glass. hah. oh well. i should say something about camp o make myself feel better. i'm copying this from stella's blog and adding stuff. hehe. (cuz she's in my group, functions 1.) begins now. >> Bwahahas. My group's named SuperCrackos. Funny name but I prefer the super loong one by Andrea. Okay, the cheer was good, yes, very good. The seniors created it. Oh yah, did I mention that we had this super nicey coach, Coach Eunice :> Hehe. Yup, had 5 stations and 3 roadblock(however you spell it) Think the super interesting ones were at Coleman's Bridge. Haha..we had make 2 person fr 2 different boats to wave to us and say "I love you". As in they have to say so. So we shouted, "I love you, do you love me?" Okay, funny funny.

here's the pictures stella loaded which i copied. xD sorry.





















youhuai the china town guide (= nice background eh?






















elaine!

















us screamin away!
















nadia and elaine?! where's elaine?!
















oh god. i look retarded. go supercrakos!!


Hhahahaha. Anyway, our group came in first! YAY! Guess we won't really mind if we didn't cos we really had lotsa fun. Haa, we were dumb, we ran back to the starting point becos we thought that group one was coming back but they weren't. HAHA.






















andrea and joyce. yup. thats how tired we were. running all around chinatown with our nice coach, coach eunice.

Back to school: LUNCH, RATED R(A), X-PERIENCE DEBRIEF, LECTURES





















that's coach jocelyn. pretty, eh? she's nice. ^_^
















ahaha! i look retarded again!! us and her! (=


this camp has been really motivating! i loveeeeeee everybody!! man, my eyes are sore from the crying...